Don Miguel Ruiz, a best-selling author of The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, explains the origin of self-limiting ideas that rob us of joy and cause needless suffering. It is based on ancient Toltec wisdom. In this blog, we’ll explain how to use The Four Agreements, a straightforward “code of behavior,” to find happiness in your own life. The Four Agreements are, in their simplest form, as follows:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
According to Ruiz, signing this agreement signifies accepting responsibility for whatever you say and write. It can be rephrased as “Say what you mean, and mean what you say” and pertains to integrity.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Why do we absorb someone else’s behaviors and words when we all have different beliefs, ambitions, and goals? It’s a typical error. This agreement emphasizes the importance of not giving people any power and that all they say and do is a projection of their reality. People are much more cooperative and focused on finding solutions rather than placing blame when they don’t take things personally.
Don’t Make Assumptions
Our time and energy are most significantly wasted when we make assumptions. This agreement promotes the idea that the ideal course of action is to ask questions in place of beliefs and to listen intently until all of your premises have been confirmed or corrected. Others can avoid this trap by maintaining an open line of communication.
Always Do Your Best
Although “always do your best” sounds like advice from your parents, it is always a good idea. According to Ruiz, your “best” varies from moment to moment and from circumstance to circumstance. In truth, giving your best effort doesn’t equate to doing too much, working too hard, or going “overboard” on anything. So said, it is being there and being who we are, even if all we can do at the time is listen. What benefits most from giving it your all? Self-criticism and remorse are never allowed to exist, eliminating any room for self-criticism, lamenting the past, or undermining our efforts. It feels liberating to go through this.
Living The Four Agreements help us become self-aware and teach us how to control our emotions by preventing them from becoming reliant on others. We are considerate of others, in tune with ourselves, and effective communicators. We get more self-assured as we become aware of our driving forces, give everything our best effort.
Incorporating The Four Agreements into our lives has helped us experience more freedom from limiting ideas and anxieties and find happiness, which has not only brought us to the Wellings community but also keeps us happy, focused, and inspired to continue growing in this area. We encourage you to do the same!