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How To Improve Emotional Intelligence

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”   – Oprah Winfrey

Here are four strategies for cultivating emotional intelligence:

  1. Practice Empathy: Cultivate your ability to both understand others’ emotions and encourage people to share their perspectives and feedback. By making active attempts to listen to and understand others, you will be better equipped to deal with a wide range of people in a wide range of situations. As Ernest Hemingway noted: “When people talk listen completely. Most people never really listen.”

  2. Continually Learn: The more you learn the more you can grow. Emotional intelligence isn’t about a destination but about continual growth.

  3. Nurture Relationships: Cultivating relationships gives you practical experience in dealing with a wide range of people. Not only will developing these relationships improve your outlook, but it will also make you better equipped to deal with people you’ve never met before.

  4. Practice Breathing: Breathing exercises can both help you clear your mind and stimulate you for the day ahead. Here is a great breathing technique from Andrew Weil, M.D. to get you started:
  • The Relaxing Breath: This breathing technique will clear your mind and put you at ease. Start by pressing the tip of your tongue against the top of your mouth, right behind the front teeth. Exhale through the mouth. Inhale for a count of four through the nose. Hold your breath for a count of seven. Exhale, making noise, for a count of eight through the mouth. Repeat three times.

Energize your life: Dream Big!

I really want this new year to be special, don’t you?  2021 feels filled with possibility and the hope that was lacking in 2020. Even when we don’t have all the answers we’re craving; even though we are still living cautiously, life is moving forward and that’s a great thing. While we’ve had many restrictions on our freedom in the past year, I think it’s time to start dreaming again; to start planning again even if the timeline has to be adjusted.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt

We humans aren’t happy when we don’t have plans of some kind and that means using our beautiful imagination to create them. The great thing about the world we’re living in today is that we can actually have an experience without leaving the comfort of our home. I signed up for a virtual tour of Florence and Tuscany to remind me of an adventure my husband and I had a few years ago. I know it’s not the same as being there but I’ll get the feeling of having been somewhere other than my living room and that will hold me until we’re free to travel.

Science has good evidence now that virtual experiences, like the tour I mentioned, produce positive emotion, which helps to alleviate the stressors we’re all living with during this Pandemic pause. Nature programs, cooking classes and exercise classes not only relieve boredom but support the all-important social connections we all need to nurture wellbeing.

I wonder what’s on your dream list; what would bring you joy. Are you longing to learn a new language or brush up on one you haven’t used in a while? Are you dreaming of a face to face coffee date with a dear friend or a family reunion? Does your list include travel, an art or cooking class; maybe salsa lessons or are you interested in volunteering?

Dream lists are important because they give us full permission to plan without pressure. Our dream lists have been taken more seriously since Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson knocked items off of their bucket list in the movie of the same name. It feels good to plan something even if you don’t know when or how you’re going to achieve it. Having a list of dreams is enough to keep us curious and engaged as life moves forward.

Equally important, to keep ourselves inspired, is having a reverse bucket list or a reverse dream list. It’s an accounting of all of our accomplishments and achievements to date. We’re so conditioned to check items off of the To Do list and move on that we hardly recognize the dreams we’ve already brought to life. If you dreamed something and did it, that’s cause for celebration. Looking back allows us to recognize how powerful we are; how courageous and resilient we are. It’s also an indicator of where our joy can be found. It’s the fuel we require to keep us dreaming and doing.

I propose that we work on our dream lists. Start by doing your reverse dream list first and write down your achievements to date; then do your future dream list. Beside each item on that list, put one small step you can take in the direction of bringing that dream to life. Remember your dream list is just a guideline without any pressure and it’s always connected to infinite possibility. Let’s dream big and make 2021 our best year yet.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

Candy Cane Cookies

Baking cookies is a fun way to celebrate the season. Click here to watch Welling’s Chef Robert share one of his favourite recipes, candy cane cookies.

Happy Holidays!

Ingredients:
1 cup sugar
1 cup butter or margarine, softened 
½ cup milk 
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 egg
3 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon red food color
1 tablespoon powdered sugar

Steps: 
  1. Stir together 1 cup sugar, the butter, milk, vanilla, almond extract and egg in a large bowl. Stir in flour, baking powder and salt. Divide dough in half. Stir food color into 1 half. Cover and refrigerate at least 4 hours.
  2. Heat oven to 375°F.
  3. For each candy cane, shape 1 rounded teaspoon dough from each half into 4-inch rope by rolling back and forth on a floured surface. Place 1 red and white rope side by side; press together lightly and twist. Place on an ungreased cookie sheet; curve top of cookie down to form handle of cane.
  4. Bake 9 to 12 minutes or until set and very light brown. Remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely, about 30 minutes. Sprinkle powdered sugar over cookies.

Christmas Celebration

Kathie’s Quarantine Cookies

Makes 3 dozen

In your mixer:

2 cups just peanuts peanut butter

2 eggs

2/3 cups maple syrup

1 tsp baking soda

6 tbsp flour (I use coconut flour)

Mix until combined well. Then go to town and add what you like.

I add Salad Topper mixed seeds and dried cranberries (get it at Loblaws in the vegetable area. Just ask for Salad Topper and choose the mix I mentioned here).

I add unsweetened coconut

I add salt caramel chips (they’re sooooo good) I get them where chocolate chips are found and if you can’t find them chocolate chips would be yummy too.

After mixing in your additions, put generous tablespoon size portions of the dough on a lined cookie sheet and press down with a fork.

Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. As soon as they’re out of the oven sprinkle the top of each cookie with kosher salt and don’t touch them until they’re completely cooled (or they fall apart and you’ll think the recipe didn’t work).

Enjoy and share with those you love.

Light Up with Love and Connection during the Festive Season

The holidays are a time for celebration with those who are most important to us, whether it’s family by blood or family by choice. This year, Covid-19 may have thrown our plans out the window but let’s not be discouraged.  We’ve proven we’re resilient and we’ve learned that we do better when we’re connected to community. So let’s reflect on what matters most and make this a festive season one to remember, for all the right reasons.

Science has proven that twinkly lights and festive decorations make us feel happy. Well it may have been a very small study, just in my home. So it’s not really scientific; more subjective. My husband jokes that he lives with a Christmas elf. I start sneaking the decorations out around mid-November. I love the simple joys of the season: sparkly lights and evergreen boughs. I love the preparation too but this year we’re putting a different spin on things and I want to encourage you to do the same.

While we’ll miss whatever celebration we’re used to with our loved ones, let’s be bold and focus on what we can do to make the most of the festive season with those around us. Ask yourself how you can show up for your neighbours and allow them to show up for you?

Instead of the annual Christmas gathering we host for our immediate neighbours, we’re organizing a stay at home potluck. On a specified date, each family will drop off two dishes on each other’s porch, we’ll set up a zoom chat to toast the season and enjoy a quieter celebration but a celebration nonetheless. Oh yes the food during the festive season is another favourite of mine. Many of us have our signature dish or treat and I hope you plan to share whatever your specialty is with your neighbours and friends. Every year, I make the plum pudding that my Mum and Godmother prepared as well as the white fruitcake my mother-in law made, so I can keep their spirit close at Christmas.

The fact that we aren’t as free to go shopping this year means that we can reframe that idea too. The real gifts of the season are kindness, empathy, compassion and love. These are gifts we all have an endless supply of and actually increase as we share them with others. A small gesture for a friend or neighbor, a donation to an organization that supports people who need it, especially at this difficult time, could be an expression of your kindness and compassion. Perhaps you could offer a card or a call, a package of goodies or a beautiful heartfelt smile. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination. I encourage you to hold nothing back this year when it comes to sharing yourself with those around you.

This Pandemic pause has brought stress for sure and it’s brought beautiful gifts. We know now that we are better together and some of us have learned to appreciate support from neighbours and even strangers. Let’s all dig in and see where we can make a difference for those around us, to ensure that this festive season shines bright like the North Star.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

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