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Interdependence: The Heartbeat of Community

At Wellings, we talk a lot about the importance of community: what it means, how it feels, and why it matters. Social connection isn’t just a feature here; it’s the heartbeat that gives meaning to what we do. Whether it’s gathering in the atrium for a friendly chat or sharing a laugh in the clubhouse, our communities are designed to bring people together in ways that feel natural and uplifting.

If you’re thinking about making a lifestyle change, maybe moving out of a house that no longer serves you and into a new kind of freedom, you might be wondering what it’s really like to live in a carefree community like Wellings. It’s a shift, for sure. Many of our members have spent decades being the CEO of their own home. Transitioning to community living can feel unfamiliar at first. But here’s the beautiful surprise: you’re not giving anything up. You’re gaining a circle of like-minded people who genuinely care, and who want the best for you.

That’s the essence of interdependence: we still live independently, but we’re surrounded by support when we need it from our neighbours and can offer support when we want to.

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” – Audrey Hepburn

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what it truly means to belong to a community. While it’s easy to embrace connection when it’s comfortable, the deeper value and the deeper reward comes when we stretch into empathy, when we replace judgment with kindness, and when we choose to see one another through a lens of compassion.

When I was in grade one, I had a classmate named Vicki. She wore leg braces because she had polio and moved in a way that made her stand out. We became friends, and I saw past her appearance to the kind, funny, resilient person she was. Vicki taught me something I’ve carried my whole life: when we judge based on what’s visible, we miss the heart of the human in front of us.

“Above all else, treat those in the community how you want to be treated.”– Anonymous

Here’s a gentle truth: we’re all here to take care of one another. None of us knows what tomorrow brings: a shift in health, a change in energy, or simply time passing, all of it can affect how we live day to day. That’s why living in a community like Wellings is such a gift. Independence is still deeply valued here, but not the kind that isolates. Instead, we create independence within connection. That’s what makes Wellings feel like home.

“For a community to be whole and healthy, it must be based on people’s love and concern for each other.” – Millard Fuller

So how do we nurture kindness, compassion, and empathy whether in a new community or the one we’re already in? Here are a few ideas we live by at Wellings:

  1. Pause before judging; practice active noticing.
    Look around with kind eyes. A smile, a wave, or a simple “how’s your day?” can shift someone’s mood; even turn their whole day around.
  2. Lead with curiosity, not assumptions.
    Everyone has a story. Ask questions. Listen generously. You might be surprised by what you discover.
  3. Make room, physically and emotionally.
    Kindness is about creating space for others to be as they are, not how we expect them to be.
  4. Remember, connection is our common ground.
    We’re here not to compete or compare, but to connect. That’s what strengthens the kind of community that feels like family.

As ambassador for Wellings, I believe in the power of community: one that includes, uplifts, and honours every season of life. If you’re imagining a new chapter for yourself, one with more connection, and more freedom, you might find that Wellings is exactly where you belong. Because in the end, we’re better together; we’re not just neighbours.

The Little Things That Matter Most

In a world that moves fast and feels increasingly digital, it’s easy to underestimate the power of the small moments—the simple, human gestures that connect us to each other. But it’s in those moments that something deeply meaningful happens. We remind one another: “I see you. You matter.”

We often don’t realize how much impact we have in the lives of others just by being present, by choosing kindness in the everyday. Holding the door a little longer. Helping carry groceries up a flight of stairs. Clearing snow off a neighbour’s walkway before they even ask. Taking a moment to ask someone, “How are you today?”—and genuinely listening to the answer. These aren’t grand gestures. They don’t cost anything but a bit of our time and attention. And yet, they can mean everything.

Especially to seniors in our communities.

A kind word or thoughtful gesture might be the only meaningful interaction a senior has all day. For those who live alone, who may have outlived partners or moved away from family, a small connection becomes a lifeline. For someone with limited mobility or chronic pain, a little help can ease a tough moment and bring a sense of dignity. These aren’t just tasks—they’re expressions of care, of community.

Calgary is full of incredible seniors—quietly contributing in so many ways. Volunteering their time. Sharing wisdom. Supporting neighbours. Showing up, even when it’s not easy. Many have spent a lifetime giving, building, nurturing. What would it look like if we paused long enough to give something back? Not out of obligation, but out of appreciation. Not because they need help, but because we see them—and choose kindness.

It doesn’t take much.

You don’t have to rearrange your whole life. Just be where you are, and be present. Notice the people around you. Smile. Ask questions. Offer a hand when you see someone struggling. If you know a senior on your street, say hello. Check in. Ask if there’s anything you can do. Sometimes, it’s simply being willing to take that extra moment—to see people, not just pass them.

This isn’t about pity. It’s about connection. It’s about remembering that the way we move through the world affects the way others experience it. Every interaction, no matter how small, has the power to lift someone up—or to be the one bright spot in their day.

There’s a quiet kind of power in that.

In a culture that often celebrates busyness and big accomplishments, there’s something radical about slowing down and choosing kindness. There’s something deeply meaningful in holding space for others—especially for those who might otherwise go unseen.

Because no act of kindness is ever wasted.

What you do matters. Whether you realize it or not, your presence—your attention—can transform someone’s day. And not just for seniors. Children notice. Friends feel it. Strangers carry it with them. Kindness has a ripple effect we can’t always measure.

So, this week, try something small. Say hello to a neighbour you usually pass by. Hold the elevator door. Offer your seat. Start a conversation in the checkout line. Shovel a little farther down the sidewalk than you normally would. Be open to connection.

These little things—they matter. More than we know.

And to someone, they might just mean everything. 



Adventure Has No Age Limit: How Canadian Seniors Are Redefining Aging

In a world that often associates adventure with youth, older Canadians are rewriting the narrative — one hiking trail, kayak trip, and plane ticket at a time.

Take inspiration from Angela Voroby, an 89-year-old from the U.K. who became the oldest person to summit Mount Kilimanjaro. Her story reminds us that adventure isn’t reserved for the young — it’s a state of mind. And here in Canada, many seniors are proving that age is no barrier to bold new experiences.

Canadians Are Exploring More Than Ever

According to ParticipACTION’s 2023 Report Card on Physical Activity for Adults, older Canadians are increasingly engaging in outdoor recreation. Activities like hiking, cycling, paddling, and even snowshoeing are gaining popularity among those aged 60 and older — and the benefits are significant.

“Outdoor activity improves physical health, lowers stress, and builds social connection — all vital to aging well,” the report notes. ParticipACTION encourages older adults to embrace movement in nature as a powerful way to stay mentally and physically vibrant.

The Health Benefits of Adventure

The Canadian Society for Exercise Physiology (CSEP) recommends that adults aged 65+ engage in at least 150 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous aerobic activity each week. Beyond fitness, adventure and novelty stimulate the brain and improve mental health. Trying something new — whether it’s exploring a local nature trail or learning how to paddle a canoe — keeps us curious, connected, and confident.

A 2022 survey by the Environics Institute found that 68% of Canadians over 60 planned to travel or take on a new hobby in the next five years, with a strong interest in nature-based experiences. These aren’t just bucket list items — they’re wellness strategies rooted in curiosity, freedom, and fun.

Canadian Trailblazers Redefining Aging

Across the country, seniors are making headlines with their adventurous spirits. In British Columbia, Evelyn Kirkaldy, an artist and educator in her 70s, leads wilderness painting retreats that combine hiking and creativity. In Quebec, Yves Durocher took up paragliding at 78. “You don’t stop dreaming because you get older,” he told Radio-Canada. “You stop dreaming when you stop trying.”

Programs like Parks Canada’s Learn to Camp, Seniors in Motion, and local community centre hiking groups make outdoor adventure more accessible to older adults — with many offering beginner-friendly options and accessible trails.

Adventure Can Be Whatever You Want It to Be

Adventure doesn’t have to mean climbing the tallest peak. For some, it’s a guided kayak tour on Lake Ontario. For others, it’s joining a hiking club or taking a solo trip for the first time. It might even be volunteering abroad or trying a new sport.

The key is to say “yes” — to new experiences, new friendships, and the belief that it’s never too late to try something for the first time.

What’s On Your “Someday” List?

If there’s one thing older Canadians are proving, it’s that aging can be a beginning — not an end. Whether you’re 65 or 95, your next great adventure could be just around the corner.

So, what dream will you chase next?

Did You Know? Happiness Increases with Age

Aging joyfully in Canada — and loving every minute of it. 

Hello friends,

Here’s some happy news: the golden years might just be the happiest years of your life!

While many of us grow up thinking youth equals joy, research shows that Canadians over 65 often report greater life satisfaction than those in their 30s or 40s. According to Statistics Canada, adults aged 65–79 consistently rank their life satisfaction higher than younger age groups — and those 80+ aren’t far behind.

So what’s driving this wave of well-being among older adults? Let’s take a closer look.

More Time, Less Stress

As we age, many of us step away from the pressures of full-time work and career-building. The shift into retirement — or semi-retirement — opens up space to enjoy life’s simple pleasures: a walk by the lake, a good book, or coffee with friends. For many, the reduction in stress alone is a major contributor to feeling happier and more at peace.

Wisdom Brings Perspective

Older Canadians tend to focus more on what really matters. After decades of life’s ups and downs, they’re often more emotionally resilient and content. A study published by McMaster University found that older adults report a stronger sense of purpose and identity — two major building blocks of long-term happiness.

Connected Communities

It’s a myth that seniors become isolated. In fact, many are more socially active than ever! Programs across the country help older adults stay connected. Here are a few inspiring Canadian resources:

  • Seniors Centre Without Walls (Alberta): A free phone-based program offering group conversations, wellness talks, trivia, and more. Great for those with mobility or transportation challenges.
  • Active Aging Canada: Offers resources on everything from physical activity to mental health, designed specifically for older adults across the country.
  • Connected Canadians: A non-profit that helps older adults build digital literacy so they can stay connected to loved ones online.

Healthy Body, Happy Mind

Today’s seniors are more active than ever. Many local community centres offer free or low-cost programs like yoga, swimming, tai chi, and walking clubs for older adults. Studies — including those supported by the Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI) — show that regular physical activity boosts both mental and emotional well-being at any age.

Let’s Share the Joy

So, what’s your secret to happiness?

Is it spending time with grandchildren? Keeping a journal? Volunteering in your community? Whether it’s a big adventure or a quiet daily ritual, your story matters — and it could inspire someone else.

Reply to this email or join the conversation on our Facebook page — we’d love to hear from you! 

Happiness doesn’t fade with age — it blooms.

Here’s to joyful aging, in all its wisdom and wonder.

Soak up the Sun: How Nature, Friendship, and Laughter Enhance Wellness

What is it about sunshine that can turn a blah day into something special? Feeling its warmth encourages us to go outdoors and sparks us to remember the simple joys in life. The great news is it’s not just about having a healthy glow; sunshine is good for our well-being in many ways. No wonder it’s called Vitamin Sun, it helps our body produce vitamin D, which supports our immune system and our bone health along with helping keep our muscles and brain cells working. Catch 15-20 minutes of early or late day sun for a noticeable impact on both physical and emotional well-being.

“The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world’s joy.” Preacher, Henry Ward Beecher

Maybe it’s beyond science but sunshine feels like an invitation to live fully. Getting outside where life happens, catching up on a walk, meeting up on the golf course, around garden beds, on a patio or on a park bench beside the water all contribute to our wellbeing. If we were to try to describe freedom that might be it, especially in Canada, where warm and sunny days are precious. We feel vibrant and more present somehow, whether we’re digging in the soil or parked in a chair watching birds flitting through the trees. We’re engaged in a kind of connection that’s good for our body, mind and spirit. Mix in a dose of laughter, which I think of as a tonic, and you’ve found an easy recipe for joy: one that contributes to longevity as well as diminishing both stress and cognitive decline.

“There is peace even in the storm when you listen to the birds.” – Unknown

It may be a function of aging and if it is, thank you because I love to listen to and observe birds. Watching them reminds me to listen more to my intuition because they certainly do. I love the dance hummingbirds perform at our feeder when two of them show up at the same time. Sometimes one leaves and on occasion they give me a gift and both perch to feed together. Listening to birds singing lets me know that all is well. When they’re quiet you can be sure something’s up like a weather event is moving in. They know everything before we do, and they respond without second guessing themselves. I recently read something so fascinating about birds: their song first thing in the morning, wakes up the flowers so they can start to open for the day. Certainly, listening to birds singing is good medicine as it is said to reduce anxiety and foster a feeling of calm. Maybe that’s beyond science too but I love it.

“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.” – conservationist, Rachel Carson

Spending time in the great outdoors is an investment in ourselves, whether we join a gardening club, walk with a group or savour a glass of iced tea on the porch, we’re connected to something larger than ourselves. Nature and the company of other people keep us grounded, calm and fill us with energy and purpose.

This summer, you’re invited to soak up the sunshine, breathe in fresh air, laugh often and spend time with others. Whether you’re planting seeds in the garden or sharing stories with friends and family under a summer sky, you’re not only making memories to cherish, but you’re also nourishing yourself in every way that matters. No matter what age, our best years are the ones lived with intention and connection with nature and other people.

Timeless Treasures: Celebrating the Influence of the Wisdom Generation

It is true that wisdom comes with experience but so does resilience, courage, great stories and cautionary tales to tell. We tend to focus on what we’re losing as we age but in truth we will gain so much more when we appreciate aging as a privilege instead of a curse.

You’ll often read that getting older is like entering the winter of our lives, but I respectfully disagree. It’s more like summer really: we’ve navigated many of life’s challenges, we’ve rewired and reinvented ourselves to arrive at a place where we’re reflowering in the garden. In this season, we require less weeding although we may want more support for our stems and other parts. We’ve lived in our bodies for decades, so it stands to reason that it’s our time to receive whatever assistance we need. Strong people can be very proud but asking for and being willing to receive support is a great gift to give those who want to help.

“Senior citizens: the true treasures of our society, whose value only appreciates with time.” – Unknown

June is seniors’ month; it’s an opportunity to celebrate the people who make up the foundation of our families, our communities and our society. It’s a chance to recognize the contributions our elders continue to make, as they pave the way forward for all of us.  In celebrating our seniors, we’re fostering deeper bonds in our circle, we’re helping to address the issue of loneliness and we’re inspiring young people to respect and appreciate the experiences their ancestors navigated to create the world we live in.

With the shift from intergenerational living to more urbanization, busy lifestyles and independent living, our connection with our elders can be weakened. Being helpful and supportive of our parents, our older friends and relations is a privilege, and it can be a very meaningful experience when we’re mindful of how important all parties are in this interdependent relationship. Let’s ensure that we’re mindful to meet our seniors where they are, being compassionate and respectful. Sometimes it’s us who need to slow down instead of insisting that they keep up. Our goal should be to lift others up when we’re together, so that when we leave, they know they’ve been seen, heard and appreciated. Don’t we all want to feel valued this way?

Here are a few tips to get the conversation going. Ask how their week is and listen to what they tell you, reminisce with them about the good old days, ask questions about the highlights and even the lowlights of their life. There’s so much value in the life lessons gained through lived experience and we can all benefit from slowing down and being a good listener.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cherishing the hard-won qualities we possess as seniors, the ones that make our lives meaningful: our values, the compassion we feel for others and the courage we draw on to support us as we navigate, all help guide us through the labyrinth, that is life in the latter years. Our inner character matters most when we’re challenged; we can call upon the resilience we have stored away to help make life’s trials less daunting. We hear a lot from our Wellings members about how the feeling of being part of a community helps them feel cared for and gives them an opportunity to care for others. We see kindness in all forms blossoming in our communities and that’s certainly something we love to celebrate.

“One of the great things about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.”  -Author, Madeleine L’Engle

Are there clothes in your closet that you keep for special occasions? Special dishware, crystal and silverware that you break out for holidays? Every day in this chapter of our life is a celebration, so bring out the good stuff, get dressed up if it makes you feel good. Savour the feeling that you’re well worth making a fuss over.

Important message: we are the sum of all the lessons we’ve learned in life rather than the sum of our experience.

I think it’s a fabulous gift when seniors live their lives fully, sharing their wisdom, life lessons and favourite memories. What do you think about a personal memoir? Your story has dips and twists, highs, lows and probably more than a few funny moments that your friends and family would enjoy hearing about. Don’t let the idea overwhelm you, just take some small action like choosing a few areas you’d like to focus on, using those subjects as prompts and begin. I might suggest focusing on one topic at a time and please don’t rush. This is supposed to be fun. It could be written down in a journal or done interview style with a friend or family member asking questions. How about recording a video to share with friends and family? However you choose to share your story, I know you’ll be happy you did.

How about organizing a luncheon, an afternoon tea or a cocktail hour to celebrate a senior, (it could be yourself). Highlight their achievements or allow them to share their favourite memories and the lessons they’ve learned along the way.

Try something unexpected. Take a dance class, sign up for a language class or book yourself a massage. Someone recently shared with me that she’s enrolled in a beginner ballet class at almost seventy years of age. Now that’s celebrating life.

Plan regular fun days with friends or family, so you always have something on the calendar to look forward to. It could be a lunch or coffee date, a movie, a visit to the gallery, a play or a spa day. Sharing these fun events with others makes it a special day for everyone.

Write an appreciation letter to yourself, acknowledging all that you’ve accomplished in your life. I like to use the analogy of standing on your mountain and looking back at how far you’ve come. You could also write a letter of appreciation for another senior, letting them know how much you admire who they are as a person. It doesn’t take much to turn someone’s day around with a few kind words.

I love the idea of a memory jar filled with messages collected from friends and family as a meaningful keepsake to treasure.

“Age is an attitude.” – Anonymous

It is true that how we perceive aging can impact our mindset and our daily life. Let’s maintain a vibrant outlook to help shape our experience and influence our friends, family and our community. Let’s keep celebration top of mind as we go through our day, looking for joy and new experiences to give us hope and to remind us of what Frank Sinatra said: “the best is yet to come.”

Blooming with Age: How Digging in the Dirt Enhances Health and Happiness

If you’re a gardener, then you’re a special type of person. Gardeners have full faith in the potential of things they cannot see. They take a certain pride in their collaboration with Mother Nature from the tiniest win to the most glorious, showstopping outcome. They have patience, at least in the garden. LOL. They love getting their hands in the dirt and enjoy sharing the experience with other gardeners. Their conversations can seem entirely uninteresting to non-gardeners and they’re okay with it. They share plants, seeds, knowledge, and offer advice and wisdom learned from their gardens. Because it’s the most popular hobby for older adults, it’s easy to connect with people who share a love for this magical, somewhat mystical pursuit.

“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.”  – Actor, Audrey Hepburn

I will confess that I started out in my early twenties as a naïve gardener. Living in the country, I planted a full vegetable garden that I thought I would take care of myself, until milkweed took over and I quickly lost interest. I obviously had no clue what I was doing. At the time, gardening was a great analogy for my life; I had a lot of weeds taking over there too. I’ve learned over the years that my interest in gardening is in taking care of plants that for the most part, take care of themselves. Our perennial garden suits this reluctant gardener perfectly.

“Take a look at the plants. They come together and thrive peacefully in the garden or park. They lean on each other without trying to outdo one another. They serve as a sign that we can see beyond our differences and embrace each other in love while allowing our uniqueness to add colour to our world.

If plants can live in harmony and show their beauty to the world, we as humans can do much more.”

– Author, Kemi Sogunie

Right around the first Monday after Christmas, I start counting Mondays until Spring. I learned this from a tv studio director I worked with who was an avid golfer. He counted Mondays until he could swing a golf club, and I count them because it gives me hope that the sleepy little treasures under the soil will start to rally again in the warmth of Springtime. I know plenty of gardeners and golfers who celebrate the countdown with me.

Dan Buettner, an American longevity researcher found that people who live in what are known as Blue Zones around the world tended to live longer. His research showed that there is a higher concentration of centenarians living in the areas of Okinawa Japan, Sardinia Italy, Nicoya Costa Rica, Loma Linda California, and Ikaria Greece. It turns out that gardening plays a key role in supporting both well-being and longevity in the Blue Zones. What we can learn from these “wise agers” is that daily physical activity, which includes gardening, encourages flexibility, endurance and strength without ever visiting the gym. Gardeners will often tell you that it’s their therapy because being present with the plants and the soil not only promotes mindfulness, but it also lowers stress and reduces anxiety. Tending a garden, feeds both passion, which gives us energy, and purpose, which gives our life meaning.

“When gardeners garden, it’s not just the plants that grow, but the gardeners themselves.” -Author, Ken Druse

When gardening is a shared experience, in a community garden for example, we develop social connection through our shared interest, which helps create a sense of belonging, something we need, especially as we get older. Getting our hands into the soil connects us with bacteria that can produce the happy hormone serotonin in the brain, enhancing our mood and helping us to feel more relaxed. We boost our immune system too by introducing different microorganisms into the body and getting our hands in the earth is good for our skin. I should mention that we can plant a container of herbs on our windowsill and call ourselves a gardener. This should be fun, and it doesn’t have to be fancy or overly ambitious. Whether we’re vegetable gardening for delicious results or growing flowers for joy snacks, any type of gardening yields the satisfaction of knowing that we’ve created something with our hands.

 “Life is a garden. It is an opportunity. You can grow weeds; you can grow roses. It all depends on you.” -Philosopher Rajneesh

Can we talk about weeds for a minute? They’re just wild plants, right? But because our flowers and vegetables are the main characters in the garden, we weed to give space to what we want to keep and discard what isn’t aligned with our goal, which is to produce beautiful flowers or vegetables. My pal Natalie mentioned that weeding is a great analogy for life, and I got giddy at the idea because it’s a powerful metaphor. Why would we hold on to relationships that aren’t aligned with our goals in life? Why don’t we weed out or edit out people and situations that drain rather than fuel us toward our goals?

Gardening is a brilliant endeavour with a lot to teach. You could say it’s a holistic approach to living, encompassing not only physical exercise but also relaxing our thinking mind, as we enjoy all the benefits of nature while connecting with others. It’s good for our self-esteem, our memory as well as our sense of purpose and community. It’s a powerful prescription for wellness with plenty of benefits and no negative side effects.

The Ageless Explorer: Nurturing Curiosity at Every Stage of Life

Curiosity is one of the keys to our evolution as human beings. Think of the aviation and technology industries, where curiosity sparks major innovation. As kids, we’re fascinated by the simplest things in our day: why does our dog Skippy have a tail, why do trees drop their leaves? Children are curious about the world and their place in it; their favourite word is why? Curiosity is a strong driver when we’re young because we need to know; we want to understand. Curious about how often kids ask questions, researchers discovered that it’s on average around 73 times a day. As we get older and the gap between what we don’t know and what we do closes, we settle into fixed thinking patterns and for some of us, curiosity climbs into the back seat.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he/she contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries to merely comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.” – Albert Einstein

Psychologist, Susan Engel researched what she refers to as “episodes of curiosity,” studying several measures of inquisitiveness, including asking obvious questions, to uncover that these episodes occurred 2.36 times over two hours in kindergarten and 0.48 times in fifth grade. I wonder if we become more self-conscious around asking direct questions that we think we should know the answer to. Maybe it was just my experience, but I can tell you I stopped putting my hand up with why questions well before grade five. Full disclosure: I wasn’t the best student, and I was always concerned about drawing attention to what I didn’t know. I can remember loving the teachers who fostered curiosity; thanks to my grade 10 English teacher Sister Rosalina, I placed third in an essay writing contest, which sowed seeds for my career in media. She encouraged me to be curious about subjects that interested me and as a result, I am committed to being a life-long learner.

“When you’re curious, you find lots of interesting things to do.” – Walt Disney

Walt Disney admitted that curiosity was the main motive as he built his magic kingdom. He had an insatiable interest and needed to know how things worked. He even apprenticed in his own machine shop to understand the mechanisms that made what he and his teams created so enchanting. Walt is a dramatic example of the power curiosity can wield in all our lives. Curiosity can improve our cognitive function, expanding our critical thinking skills, making us more likely to question assumptions and make more informed choices. Being curious leads to healthy self-esteem, confidence, a feeling of pride and a sense of purpose, all of which contribute to our emotional intelligence and to having an ageless outlook on life.

“Curiosity is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein was on to something when he said, “curiosity is more important than knowledge.” Beng curious about other people for example, means that we’ll ask more questions, which forges a bond between us, leading to a deeper connection. Too often we think we know other people without ever asking questions and our limited knowledge can restrict our relationship with them. Asking questions of others takes us beyond small talk, makes for a more lasting relationship built on genuine interest and concern which ultimately helps to diminish loneliness and boredom.

Being curious fuels our imagination, promotes creativity and encourages us to experience more of the wonder and joy around us every day. Specialists in the field of longevity advise that as we age, we embrace new hobbies and pursue topics that interest us. Perhaps it’s time to learn a new language, take up dancing or a musical instrument to revitalize our brainpower. The benefits are impressive because as we learn, we challenge ourselves, we recognize that we’re very capable and there’s the added benefit of having a little spring in our step because we’re trying something new. In addition to those great returns, we’re more available to notice small joys in our daily life and we’re more interesting because we have something we’re excited to share with others, even if it’s sharing how we’re not very good at whatever we’re trying out. Remember laughter is some of the best medicine we can take, even when it’s at our own expense.

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” – writer, Dorothy Parker

The cool thing about curiosity is that the more curious we are, the more curious we become, the more we learn, the more we realize we don’t have to know everything. Embracing this way of thinking helps us to see that it’s far better to ask good questions than it is to draw what we think are good conclusions about anything or anyone. Let me leave you with some ideas on how to nurture more curiosity in your life.

  1. Instead of telling yourself you’re too old to learn something, ask yourself why not?
  2. Be a good listener when others are speaking. What you hear will help you get to know them, and you’ll have good questions to ask.
  3. When you’re trying something new, stop feeling like you must rush. Slow down and enjoy the experience.
  4. Spend time with people from different generations and be curious about how they see the world.
  5. Be present and look for joy snacks in your day. Feel delighted by small things, to encourage curiosity about the world around you.
  6. Read, do puzzles, write or play games that require strategy to spark your thinking.
  7. Explore the world in person or on-line. Is there a country you’ve wanted to visit? If you can’t go in person, watch videos about it and set the mood with food or drink from that country. Invite a friend to join you on the adventure.
  8. Take part in activities and discussions that challenge your own ideas and be curious about others’ viewpoints.

A Reason, a Season or a Lifetime: The Many Sides of Friendship

What do you think of when you think of February, aside from it being bone chilling cold here in the frozen north? It’s love, right? February 14th, Valentine’s Day, takes over and we’re bombarded with messages about love. We exchange greeting cards, chocolates, flowers and we have a newish twist known as Galentine’s Day on February 13th, to celebrate gal pals. But what about every other day of the year, shouldn’t we champion quality friendships then too? I had a feeling you’d agree, so let’s explore how we can enhance our lives at any stage through friendship.

“Valentine’s Day is just another day to truly love like there is no tomorrow.” – Storyteller, Roy A. Ngansop

I think it’s wonderful to celebrate companionship, whether it’s romantic or platonic. You see it’s our connectivity as human beings that contributes to not only our longevity but the quality of our lives. Single or otherwise, we all need to feel connected and when we don’t, the result is, we feel lonely. While I think it’s important to recognize that we all feel lonely from time to time, it’s not a place I want to suggest we set up camp. The tricky bit is that we’re a little (or a lot) uncomfortable with the idea of having boundaries in friendships, editing friendships that may not align with us at this stage and we’re uncomfortable when it comes to making new friends. This is especially true as we age but I have great news. It doesn’t have to be awkward and here’s more great news, there are friends you haven’t met yet who will add value to your life.                                     

“Love is a great beautifier.”
– Louisa May Alcott

Some of us are more challenged than others when it comes to exercising our social muscles but being connected through friendship empowers us, makes us feel seen, heard, valued, appreciated and it helps others feel the same. When we’re young, friendship can be challenging and many of us tolerate a lot but once we know what we need in a friend, it’s easier to find what works for us. Also, as we get older, we don’t require the same things we did when we were young. We’re hopefully a little wiser and have learned from our life experience. We’re not looking for someone to hit the clubs with, unless they’re golf clubs of course. LOL. Whether it’s golf or another sport, play is a great way to make new friends. Do you play cards, board games or enjoy bowling, going to the movies or doing puzzles? You’re not alone and that’s a great way to enjoy time with other folks who like the same thing. The trick here is to ask people about their interests to discover if their pursuits align with yours. Again, good exercise for our social muscles.

“The most I can do for my friend, is simply to be his friend.” -Naturalist, Henry David Thoreau

Clubs and groups devoted to a specific area of interest are perfect for making connections with like-minded people. Whether on-line or in person, bonding with others this way is uplifting. I run a Facebook group called The Secret Kindness Club where we exchange kindness. Feel free to join us. There’s no agenda just the invitation to share kindness. People drop in regularly to either leave some kindness or pick some up if they need it. The on-line world has afforded many new opportunities to connect with people. It’s a fascinating domain where Facebook friends can sometimes become in-person friends. That’s how I met one of my besties.

I love the idea of a book club, a cookie club, a coffee club, a gardening club, a soup club or a lunch club, where everyone contributes something whether it’s opinions about a book, a yummy dish at a pot-luck lunch, a monthly soup delivery or a new recipe from a cookie buffet. Enhance the experience by inviting members of the group to share their stories and insights. You never know what you’ll learn about someone that might spark a friendship.

 “Women’s friendships are like a renewable source of power.” – Actress, Jane Fonda

Exercise classes, art classes, yoga classes, taking high school, college or university courses all support the idea of being a life-long learner. If you see someone in the class you think you’d like to get to know, exercise your social muscles and ask them for coffee. It may or may not be a match as a friend, but you’ll never know if you don’t ask.

Volunteering is another brilliant way to connect with like-minded people. You’ll have something in common immediately and if you volunteer regularly, chances are you’ll see the same people, which could be an easy way to make a connection.

Compliment strangers on something they’re wearing, or on their smile, that’s another way to spark conversation. Chat with your neighbours, say yes more often to parties and gatherings and most of all, say yes to making new friends regardless of your age or circumstances. Remember this isn’t serious business, friends are meant to make our lives more fun. Something I like to remind myself of when it comes to friendship is to take the best and leave the rest. We’re not therapists, babysitters, event coordinators or detectives, we’re friends. We don’t have to solve, fix, organize or intervene unless we’re asked to and we’re willing to. Our friends should always make us feel like they’ve got our back. They’re our best cheerleaders, ready to lift us up when we need lifting and to celebrate with us when we’re winning.

Time can either strengthen a friendship or weaken the bond. I often think of something someone told me years ago, that friends were for a reason, a season or a lifetime and it’s up to us to figure out which is which. Let me leave you with the poem that passage comes from, so that you know when to step up, lighten up and when to let go.

Reason, Season, or Lifetime -Anonymous

People come into your life for a reason,
A season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will
Know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a
REASON, it is usually to meet a
need you have expressed. They have come to
assist you through difficulty, to provide
you with guidance and support, to aid you
physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to
be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your
part or at an inconvenient time, this person
will say or do something to bring the
relationship to an end. Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they
act up and force you to take a stand. What
we must realize is that our need has been
met, our desire fulfilled, and their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered
and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a
SEASON, because your turn has come to
share, grow or learn. They bring you an
experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never
done. They usually give you an unbelievable
amount of joy. Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon, in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and
put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is
blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Words that Uplift: How Compliments Nurture Connection and Confidence

Do you feel worthy of receiving compliments or do they make you feel uncomfortable? Our world is so focused on appearances, which is likely why we feel a little awkward when someone compliments us. If we believe we look good, then a compliment is easier to receive but many of us are unsure of ourselves and so compliments may feel insincere even when they’re genuine. The truth is that while it’s nice to look good, there’s so much more about us that’s worthy of praise.

“Don’t judge by appearances. A rich heart may be under a poor coat.” – Anonymous

I’m a big believer in compliments not only about physical appearance but about who we are and how we are. I recognize that praise helps people feel seen, heard and valued, which is very important to me. Growing up as a short person: at school, I was always placed at the front of the line, and I was singled out as cute. The compliments I received were no doubt genuine but always focused on the fact that I’m a small person. I should mention that being vertically challenged has never been a disadvantage in my life, quite the opposite. It’s given me unique insight into how we see each other and how sometimes what we perceive about each other is very limited. I recall meeting with a newspaper reporter years ago, who was writing a story about a project I was involved with. I specifically asked her not to lead with my height and of course she did. I didn’t want her to lead with what I think is the least interesting thing about me. I’m so much more than my height and so are you: so much more than the body you live in. We can be so focused on how we look that it can detract from us living our lives joyfully, celebrating ourselves for all the challenges we’ve moved through and the resilience we’ve gained as a result. That’s why I think offering meaningful compliments can make a difference.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia

When we praise people about who they are, we shine a light on their strengths, which connects us in a deeper way and helps boost self-esteem. When we compliment each other on our creativity or resilience for example, we acknowledge the inherent qualities that make each of us special. I just finished reading Tony Bennet’s book Just Getting Started. I have always been a big fan not only because of Tony’s tremendous talent as a vocal artist and painter but also because of his humility. The book is a series of short chapters focusing on the people he encountered over the years, from Count Basie and Frank Sinatra to Lady Gaga and Amy Winehouse who either made a difference for him or for whom he was able to make a difference. Tony is very generous with compliments about how these people were or are as human beings as much as their musical talent.

Recognizing a person’s resilience, kindness, compassion or loyalty, affirms that their worth is not solely based on their appearance and can empower them to embrace these qualities as strengths to be celebrated and further developed.

“Do not miss a single chance- not one single opportunity- to tell someone how wonderful they are, how special they are, how important to you they are, how incredible as a person they are, how beautiful they are inside and out. Do not miss a single opening in which to insert such a comment, genuinely felt and genuinely meant.” – author, Neale Donald Walsch

If you want to create a positive social environment and improve interactions at work, at home or among your friends, nourish the habit of giving as well as receiving compliments. Our acts of kindness, expressed through our words and our actions create a feeling of belonging and diminish feelings of loneliness or inadequacy. What’s the old proverb? You’ll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar. Think about it this way: kindness attracts; rudeness repels.

It’s interesting to me that a compliment about a person’s character is longer lasting than a compliment about their appearance. It comes back to the idea that we all want to feel seen, heard, valued and appreciated for who we are. The magic happens when we receive compliments graciously. A simple thank you is a beautiful gift to give someone who gifts us with kindness. Even when we don’t fully believe the compliment, saying thank you acknowledges that someone sees something in us that we might take for granted or not be aware of.

Let’s not forget that kindness is contagious and there’s great benefit for us when we give compliments. Want lower blood pressure and cortisol levels? Kindness is good medicine for both. Then there are the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine that make us feel satisfied and stimulate the pleasure and reward centre of the brain for both the giver and the receiver. There’s also the added benefit of reducing fear and anxiety.

  • Is there someone who made a difference in your life? Send them a note or an email expressing your appreciation for their generosity.
  • Have you observed someone navigating through a rough time with courage and grace? Tell them how much you admire their bravery.
  • Is there someone in your life who seems a little down? Offer them some sunshine by complimenting them.

Here are a few suggestions for compliments about attributes other than physical appearance:

  • Our conversations mean a lot to me.
  • You have great taste in……
  • You are so good at embracing creativity.
  • Your enthusiasm is contagious.
  • You express yourself very well.
  • You’re very understanding.
  • I feel energized when I’m in your company.
  • You make me think about things differently.
  • You inspire me.

While criticism certainly comes more easily than compliments do, there’s far more fuel for our well-being and happiness when we train our mind to look for the good in other people and let them know what we observe. It’s easy to put a foot wrong when we’re critical of others because we do not have the full picture of their life, but you can’t make a mistake when you give out compliments like candy.

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